Wednesday April 8th. I started back to work. The first day, daddy and baby took me to work since we had volleyball practice afterwards and would need to pick me up. We toured the building, showing off baby and the day seemed shorter because they were there to support me in the morning. It was easy to look forward to the end of the day since they would be downstairs waiting for me. However, that night going into the next morning was a disaster. I panicked. Froze. I didn't want to move, I wanted time to stand still. But--that isn't possible. With less than 3 hours of sleep, I headed downstairs to cuddle my baby before I had to get into the car and leave her. I have to drive away. It is one of the hardest things I've had to do, and I can only imagine it getting harder.
The struggle is real. I'm wading into unknown territory. The man, the myth, the legend--my husband. Is the only one who makes it bearable. He says home with her. He changes diapers, feeds her, and calms her when she cries. He is the most amazing man I have ever met, and (lucky me!) I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't know what we would do without him. We are so blessed. And so, we will continue to struggle. But, with God and each other for support--we'll make it. Who knows?! We might even have another little one! ….that is, if we survive this one!
